Living Beyond Limits

“Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.”

-       Margaret Whealtey

Whether it’s you, your neighbour of a spinning electron – we exist because we relate to something or someone else.

Even master craftsman like Da Vinci or Michelangelo succeeded because they worked with or for others.

In our increasingly interconnected world this is even more true.

My house has been recently sold. This temporary abode was only a rental so it was time to move on – and I am now emigrating to India.

I knew the agent though our mutual interest in art. Sad to say, my immediate reaction was ‘why him?’

I know that is a negative thing to say – perhaps I need to assess my own attitude.

Let me explain.

I have studied body language for decades. Even in the art gallery I always felt this man was  smiling at a distance.  I felt I was being talked to – or even sold too – which I didn’t like when appreciating a sculpture or painting.

He was presenting and never listening – a moving, talking sales robot.

Yes he was good at his job – and as soon as it looked like he had a sale I was no longer useful and strangely my calls were ignored.

He makes sales but internally he is very alone.

Relationships work when you are both credible and vulnerable.

Think about your closest business associates. I’m talking about [people you work witjh, have a drink with after work and even have round for a barbeque.

Now think about your close business associates only.

If you stuff up, who is always more forgiving and helpful in fixing up your mess?

If you are never close to people they may admire and respect you and talk about you behind your bacjk when it all goes wrong.

Of course, it will.

Master business coach Brian Tracy points out that most business people fail 17 times before they hit it big. He also says you should expect a business threatening crisis every two and a half to 3 months.

In other words, you need friends- genuine frends. The type of intimate associates and mentors who see you asboth a business professional and as a genuine caring human.

You need to get beyond the business bravado and talk abour what matters – the kids, your fears dreams even those issues that keep you awake at night.

They wont think less of you. Infact, they will epathise and feal endeared to you.

Think about it.

In the business world  every introduction has two goals – to continue to build your credibility but also to show vulnerability.

“Let me be clear, vulnerability is not self-deprecation” wrote networker Lisa Sasevich . “You’re not diminishing yourself. You’re showing your heart. You’re giving people a way to connect with you, to see you as a real person, to see that you’re just like them.”

Lisa suggests you move pretty quickly into my vulnerability story. This also conveys credibility.

It also gets away from slipping into negativity. No one likes a Sad Sap.The where you were andhow you are now approach works brilliantly.

Or even the where you were, where you are, and where you intend to be approach. Show your passion and how you are determined to rise above the challenges.

You may even get some helpful hints.

What is it that lights you fire? Find your passion and find how you can use it to help others succeed.

Lisa Sasavich stumbled into her expertise around sales conversion because she was passionate about women understanding men.

The surfer ‘bum’ discovered a passion in helping people and health after nearly dying of strychnine poisoning and meeting heath specialist Paul Bragg.

Both these people don’t just talk there passion. They master in matching what they offer to what others value most.

This means building relationships now – and not when you need it.

Imagine being put off at work and being able to make ten or twenty calls and finding a job almost instantly.

Be Generous

Don’t be a relationship Jerk. You know the type- who throw business cards in everyone’s face. people who don’t care one iota

As Law of Attraction coach Robert Anthony  reminds us: Help others succeed where you want to be successful. Then your success will multiply.

Succeed in Numbers

Are you passionate about a sport?  Invite some friends. Do you like wine? Share it with friends. Why not do your workout in a group?

Sure, there is time to do things alone.

You could develop trading network, It could be an old style bring a plate affair where you each bring something – and a friend. Or a few of you host a night together – a shared expense- and invite friends the other does not know.

Don’t Limit You Options

Its al to easy to tell yourself something will not work.

I like Joe vitals recommendation:

“What is the most fun thing you can do right now that is in alignment with my intentions.”

When it comes to working with others, it is all to easy to be tangled up with the latest new craze. To get another adrenaline rush as you try out a program, get bored and move onto the next one.

There is a balancing act here.

A balance between hardnosed in our single minded focus and being ‘soft eyed’ and open to new ideas.

You have no doubt seen, or heard of the selective attention test.

Clearly we need focus to achieve our intention.

We also need to relax to respond too, and encourage, our creativity and intuition.

Follow your intuition, don’t be so goal focused that you scare people away.

Life is to be lived. It is a journey to enjoy and not a struggle to achieve some day in the future.

The Huna tradition has a meditation that stimulates a 180 degree vision by entering into a meditative state using the HA breath.

Peripheral vision has even been used to help improve sight with the Yoga for the Eyes technique.

How can we expand our mental peripheral focus?

By taking time to meditate and reduce our attachment to the outcome.

Be focused on your intention but then relax and listen  …..

Rsspond to the answers and follow your intuition. Like a yachtsman, trim the sales and constantly correct you’re your course by reading the winds of experience.

Life is the ultimate mirror of your inner world.

Enjoy your intuition and ride with it – but keep pointed toward your intention.

Like a surfer you must ride the waves offered to you – while you intend to perfectly surf the wave of life.

Most of those waves that force upon us are people oriented. So we must learn to ride the vagaries of others. Never forget our intention. Never get side tracked by the vagaries of fashion.

Learn to develop your connections and work with others and mutually – together – enjoy meeting your own desires by fulfilling others values.

Image: dangerous relationships by ~CheshireC