Living Beyond Limits

Why don’t we choose to be happy?

Asked to write their top 100 goals of things to be or have, very few will write happiness.

It seems easier to aim for things, for goals and targets. There measurable. Happiness seems ephemeral. It’s just out there somewhere.

Sadly few have found it.

As less than 30% of Americans claim to be deeply happy and 27% of Europeans are depressed.

Happiness is’t elation, euphoria, mood spikes or peak experiences. Nor is it insanely grinning 24/7.Happiness is a specific measurable physiological state characterized by distinct brain activity, heart rhythm’s and body chemistry, said Marci Shimoff in Happy For No Reason: 7 Steps For Being Happy From The Inside Out.

With the aid of the stories her Happy 100, she describes three guiding principles and seven happiness habits to attain that elusive inner smile.

However,  than being full of cliques, Shimoff’s book, offers practical summaries of techniques ranging from Sedona, to Qi Gong. Or for a quick pick-me-up the M-Power March.

50% of our happiness comes from genetics, 40% by our habitual thoughts and only 10% from our circumstances, claim researchers Kennon Sheldon and David Shaade.Nor should we be surprised. As 90 plus percent of our thinking is unconscious.

However, if a ships rudder is very small yet can direct a ship. We also can profoundly direct our own life.

What expands you makes you happier, claims Shimoff, who recommends developing your own happiness GPS that detects what expands and contracts you.

Shimoff believes the universe is a friendly place, that will help find ways to support you when you feel expanded.  However, what you appreciate, appreciates, she says.

She recommends the following Secret formula to happiness:

1. Intention. Be clear about what you want.
2. Attention. Put your attention on your desires and practice the Happiness Habits daily.
3. No Tension. Let go and relax. Learn to relax and trust yourself.

To achieve this she offers seven Happiness Habits, which come with practical exercises.

1. Take Ownership of Your Happiness

• Be Solution focused
• Look for the lessons and gifts in your circumstances
• Make Peace with yourself

2. Don’t Believe Everything You Think

• Question Your Thoughts
• Free Yourself of your negative thoughts
• Incline Your mind toward joy

3, Let Love Lead

• Focus on Gratitude
• Practice forgiveness
• Spread Loving kindness

4. Make Your Cells Happy

• Nourish Your Body
• Energize Your Body
• Tune into your body

5. Plug Yourself Into Spirit

• Invite Connection with a Higher power
• Listen to your inner voice
• Trust Life’s unfolding

6. Live a Life of inspired Purpose

• Find Your Passion
• Follow Your inspiration of the moment
• Contribute to something greater than yourself

7. Cultivate Nourishing Relationships

• Tend your relationships
• Surround yourself with Support
• See the world as your family

My favourite story from her Happy 100 proves that no matter where you come from in life you can profoundly enjoy your life.

Zainab, born in Baghdad, her father was handpicked to be Saddam Hussein’s personal pilot. It was a job you could not refuse and live. While children dutifully called Saddam Amo (Arabic or Uncle) she was taken to palace parties.

Saddam would off handedly mention killing a family member or colleague and carefully scrutinize your reaction, said Zainab.

“Offending Saddam with the wrong remark or facial expression could be fatal, so I learnedto match ny facial expressions to his.”

Then suddenly she was married off by her mother to an Iraqi American who did not honor his commitment to care for her or allow her to study. Unknown to Zainab, her mother had  arranged the wedding to get her away from  Suddam’s  amorous interest.

A prison her violent home, she fled after being raped and would go onto help the Bosnian and Croatian women subject to rape camps, and later was inspired to write her story by women for Women International mission.

“I really believe that every misfortune I have gone through has led me to my fortune, the happy life I have today. She describes, the inner joy, lightness of spirit that comes from being able to tell your story

Shimoff reminds us of the importance of a support group because we only remember

• 10% of what we read,
• 20% of what we hear,
• 30% of what we see,
• 50% of what we see and hear
• 70% of what we discuss with others
• 80% of what we experience personally
• And 95% of what we teach others

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