You have ever seen those older couples that live in sync with each other? A simple glance across the room can give them as a young couple on that first night.
How can a couple be so close, that they can experience a divine passion at a mere glance accross a room?
Perhaps it’s to do with those mirror neurons that have made the news of recent times.
The power of mirror neurons is that we can sense and subconsciously respond to a persons emotions and intentions even if they are so instinctive or subtle that other person is not aware of their real motives.
How often have you seen a guy, so detached from his feelings, that he doesn’t realize why his girl is getting totally different messages.
Then you see some people who are so in tune with themselves that they can relate to others with such empathy that people just melt in their presence.
Rather than curse this experience, we can use it to refine our personalities, be more successful and be better lovers and carer’s.
So what are mirror neurons?
It seems that in macaques monkeys a set of neurons in the brains ventrolateral premotor cortex responded the same way as if the monkey had a treat or he saw someone else do it.
Italian scientist Rizzolatti, called them mirror neurons.
This is why I can experience your pleasure, or pain, why some people experience phantom limbs, or why meditator’s can have transcendental experiences, said neuroscient Vilayanur Ramachandran.
While mirror neurons have not been found in humans, therapies based on their presumed human existence have successfully relieved phantom pain and synesthesia, and autism. They can even be used to induce synethesia and phantom limb pain.
(Ok for you science buffs, it is believed that the human equivalent of this mirror system in humans is the pars opercularis ofthe inferior frontal gyrus (area 44) and the rostral part of the inferior parietal lobule is believed to function like monkey mirror neurons. However, Molenberghs , Cunnington, and Mattingley found that the superior and inferior parietal lobules are equally activated during imitation.)
Mirror neurons “allow us to learn complex social behaviors, some of which formed the foundations of human civilization as we know it” said Ramachandran, who suggests that mirror neurons may neurologically explain the universal oneness explained by Eastern philosophy and kabbalah.
So what is it about Kabbalah, Mirror Neurons and Marriage?
According to Kabbalah we have our own mirroring system that mirrors the spiritual and physical laws.
Perhaps, even more importantly, it helps us learn to mirror and merge as one soul with our one true love.
“As (when looking in) water, face reflects face, so does one’s heart find reflection in another’s” states Proverbs 27:19.
The surest way to learn about yourself is through the relationship of your closest and dearest relationships, says Kabbalah.
By observing your relationship with your lover you can sense the purity of your motives both consciously and unconsciously. At the same time we can monitor how our intentions, even the unconscious ones, turn out.
To the extent that we engage with others, states Kabbalah, the more we are able refine ourselves by observing the the way we are treated.
This is particularly true in committed and intimate relationships where we are confronted daily by our and our lover’s eccentricities.
Kabbalah teaches that we are one human soul needing to be conscious of our universal humanity. Family love repeats the pattern in microcosm. The goal of a relationship is to experience a celestial oneness with your Soulmate.
Ultimately, the more this oneness is experienced the close mankind comes to experiencing mankinds universal soul.
Let’s look at this with a practical example:
Because we enter relationships often with faulty ideas fueled by our imagination we often have to ‘recify’ our viewpoint. We don not change others, we change how we view and respond to them, and they will respond differently to us.
Imagine a man entering marriage with a fantasy view of an ideal wife. His wife senses that he is chasing a dream girl that she cannot ever measure up to and feels resentful.
If he does not sense his wife’s feelings, then they will live as two separate souls living parallel lives. She will feel alienated and may lose interest in being the best spouse she can be.
Once the husband begins to respond to the reality of the relationship – and not his imaginary one – he begins to redirect his attentions toward his wife’s needs, and the reality (not the illusion) of his feelings. His experience is based not on an illusion but on how both are responding to each other.
Just as you navigate your ship by trimming the sails to constantly keep on course, you can measure your life and refine your personality by the responses of your lover.
This requires practical action on his part. He does not just note his mental failing and remember it for next time. He tries to adjust his actions toward his wife, she responds, and from that he again re-shift’s his focus.
The marriage becomes a biofeedback loop of experience – an experiment where unity is the desired outcome. He begins to take responsibility for his feelings and thoughts and how they affect those he loves most. Although, it may take time, she will sense his efforts and respond in turn.
Soul mates have a deep love and respect for each other. Kabbalah is not teaching that we should fearfully crush our identities
Rather than submerge our identities into mindless conformity, there is a harmony of opposites, a balancing of harmony and dissonance like an orchestra separate parts that sense the perfection of a performance inspiring even greater perfection than the sum of its parts.
Kabbalah teaches that we grow spiritually, and even romantically, when we connect our different natures for a greater spiritual goal. This results in a greater intimacy when each is happy and ready to give without expectation of return.
If he seeks to find that common soul that joins them she will sense the indivisible oneness between them and then as “face reflects face“ she will respond with total devotion to him.
However, this is only the first step in learning appropriate relationship dynamics.
As a greater partnership develops an existential togetherness grows as you unitedly share common goals and genuine love . Your sensitivity to each other grows and respect increases. There is something continuous and binding about this sense of unity that transcends time and space.
At this point “consciousness and emotional boundaries have expanded to encompass each other; each spouse considers the other a part of himself” said Kabbalist Rabbi Harav Yitzchak Ginsburg.
“As a result, physical proximity or the lack of it does not affect their togetherness. They have transcended space and exist together in time. As they experience time’s cycles together, they focus on how life’s varying moods impinge on their common consciousness and react productively to them together.”
The mental distance that once distanced the couples at the beginning of our example is diminished. Neither of them can picture his or her life apart from the other.
However, Kabbalah states there is a deeper third stage that is possible in love.
In this stage, the couple experience themselves as a single entity. They live on earth as they were before they arrived in this earthly passage, a single collective soul.
This is not a dutiful or fearful worry of loss. This can only occur when both parties have consciously and willingly become one because they both desire it. This what is really meant when Genesis said man and wife should become ‘one flesh’.
This is not just a merging of sexual bodies. However, all Eastern spiritual schools agree that in a state of spiritual oneness, sexual fulfillment can be incredibly fulfilling as barriers and resistances melt in a state of spiritual and ecstatic oneness and shared collective consciousness.
Rather than see each other as two individuals working for each others good, they are a collective soul thinking and working synergistically.
On a spiritual level, the couple have surrendered themselves to the infinity of G-d’s reality and developed in to a purer version of themselves.
A Kabbalistic Exercise in Oneness
While it may sound great, even sexually ecstatic to merge our souls as one with another, 90% of our responses are automatic. so asking how to become one is a very reasonable question.
Kabbalah is experiential, so here is a simple exercise you can do even when you are on the run.
Imagine your favorite food – a chocolate cake with whipped cream, a pavlova, what about a nice cool beer on a hot day?
You want it, you hunger for it, you NEED the sugar rush or the cool refreshment.
Chances are, that you experience and immediate and urgent need to satisfy your desire. Usually, we rush to satisfy that hunger without even stopping to appreciate it.
What if instead, you stopped and just for a minute or two you stopped. As the voice is telling you “Come on, eat it” just wait. Every time you hear that voice simply tell yourself to ‘just wait’ until the voice dies down and it is you – and not your biology that CHOOSES to partake.
Another exercise, is to stop and imagine that someone else will enjoy the food. You couldimagine giving it to a homeless person. (If you’re in a public place you could give charity ever time you eat out ). The food may even seem to taste different. It is no longer just being lustfully consumed.
This is why some traditions suggest stopping and blessing food before eating. The meal is no longer a lustful experience, it is spiritual.
The point of the exercise is to experience the power you can have by simply stopping and acting by choice and not impulse.
This teaches you to have pause in your actions with all things and all people.
You are then better able to reflectively evaluate the cause, effects and the benefit of all your actions with other people.
Popularity: 15% [?]
Related posts:
- Is prayer good for sex? being truly committed to a person – not just...
- The Purpose of Loves Contradictions “Sometimes we seducers don't want the object of our seduction...
- Better Loving Relationship Values Inventory What will determine our direction andsuccess in life? Our heirachy...
- The Zen of Sex One of the most revered zen masters, Ikkyu Sojun (1394-1481),...
- Kabbalah in the Bedroom By satisfying your spouse’s deepest desires the gift of sexuality...
Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.
Facebook comments: