Parents don’t understand their kid’s sexuality and girls hide more from mum than the family movies admit too, concludes separate studies.
Now its no surprise that girls talk dating with mum far more than boys do. However, it seems both girls and boys are equally secretive about sex and what they get up to on unsupervised dates states an Ohio State University study. They won’t tell mum any more than they will tell dad.
At the same time, parents have a very hard time admitting their teenagers want to have sex – but that everyone else’s kids are, and may even be sexual predators, claims the study Parents’ Constructions of Teen Sexuality: Sex Panics, Contradictory Discourses, and Social Inequality.
By taking this stance, the parents shift the responsibility for potential sexual activity to others – attributing any such behavior to peer pressure, coercion or even entrapment, said assistant professor of Sociology Dr. Sinikka Elliott, from North Carolina State University.
It seems both age groups have their own emotional rollercoaster ride.
Society claims teenagers are too young to know about sex, but too sexually driven to be trusted with information.
This parental binary thinking ts more than simply an effort to maintain a notion of their teens as sexually innocent states Elliot.
it reveals deep anxieties about their teenagers’ future life chances and underscores the prominent role sexuality plays in reproducing social inequality.
From a parents perspective, it makes sense it may make sense to delay bringing babies into the world. Delaying motherhood is linked to substantially higher incomes for girls. Then there are widespread concerns about the consequences of teen sex.
Of course, parents are also driven by their own fears and a teenagers silence about love adds to them.
“Many parents become frustrated because they feel that the lack of communication with their teenage children is evidence of increasing distance or diminishing influence,”said co-author Christopher Daddis who studied what teenagers will admit to parents.
“What we found is that adolescents are willing to talk to their parents about some issues, but those issues may change as they grow older and they feel more autonomous” he said in medical news today.
Daddis study of 222 adolescents of aproximately equal male and female sutudents in 9th or 12th grade at a central Ohio high schoolwas published in the Journal of Adolescence.
On 22 different issues, the students rated their willingness to disclose specific information to their parents. These were issues were then catagorised.
Adolescents were more willing to talk to their parents about their date’s identity and how they showed affection. However , girls were more open and both sexes prefered talking to mum.
However, they were secretive about admitting to unsupervised dates or to having sex.
The older the teenager, the less they disclosed.
Importantly, the higher level of trust a youth felt with their parents the more they disclosed. Especially for girls and particularly for issues related to sex and supervision.
“It is important for the parents to provide an environment where the child can feel comfortable and trusting. The presence of a trusting relationship between parent and teen creates an climate for healthy development of autonomy,” said Daddis.
The research found teens more willing to talk about topics they thought could involve harm others or have serious consequences.
“We found that adolescents were more willing to talk to their parents about an issue if they felt that it would render harm to themselves or have some consequences that may affect others.”
“Developing a trusting relationship is one of the most important things parents can do to maintain consistent communication,” he said. it is natural for teens to seek more independence and draw communication boundaries.
Meanwhile parents tend to sterotype sexual behavior in unhelpful and adversarial ways, said Elliot. But then, does media coverage, such as by Tyra Banks above only fuel parental fears?
Just remember that in the USA the 2006 University Health Service study found 99% of students believed the typical student iwas doing it, the same study found 43% of students have never had sexual intercourse.
The idea everyone is sex crazed is an exaggeration.
Meanwhile, parents of teenage boys fear their sons may be lured into sex by girls using sex to solidify a relationship. Meanwhile, parents of teenage girls feared their daughters were targets of sex made boys.
“Although parents assume their kids are heterosexual, they don’t make heterosexual relationships sound very appealing” said Elliot.
