Seduction Guru's can go to h#@*

“Be cocky and funny’ says David De Angelo.

Find a way to accidently touch a girl says Ross Jefferies.

Fitness program, the Adonis Effect, promotes a girl attracting hip-waist ratio.

Combined with NLP they assume girls are preprogrammed to choose the alpha male breeding machine.

The idea is based on evolutionary psychology. Guru’s may not encourage men to club you over the head caveman style. However, they claim evolution  is why girls fall for Jerks.

Could it simply be that people who use these strategies are more confident, better able to read body language and act on the psychological cues from women?

Guru psychology grossly over simplifies evolution as new research points out.

“Nice guys don’t always finish last” according to a study published in the journal Science.

This study found that in a single group male aggression worked but in multi group situations – in other words, when the girl has a choice, non aggressive tactics won the girls amorous attentions.

By the way, I forgot to tell you the research was with insects – Water Striders actually.

Before you state the obvious – yes I know you’re not an insect (unless you were that guy that dumped me last week) – remember the premise of Evolutionary Psychology is that biology rules our desires.

The study revealed that gentlemen water striders mated more females than psychopath suitors.

In earlier studies females could not get away from predatory males said coauthor John W. Pepper. When females could escape the nice guys had more fun.

“The naive view of Darwinian evolution is that it always favors the most savage, brutal and selfish behaviors” said Pepper.

“In nature, groups of cooperative individuals are more successful than groups of selfish individuals.”

However, it gets more complicated.

Seahorses like large pushy ladies, Peahens chase flashy tailed peacocks,  red back spiders like fast and frisky, but smaller males, male sand gobies play Mr. Mom to get attention and …. well, the list, from Leigh Bond in Newsweek goes on. I think you get the idea.

It seems that nature is telling the ladies to choose the male that can best market himself according to the needs of her species.

Charles Darwin believed that our choice of mates is a deliberate process involving many factors.

“Darwin thought that sexual selection was an important process in humans, both for males and females” said biologist Adam Jones. “But there are still many unanswered questions about precisely why and how it works, especially in humans.”

As Seduction guru’s extensively uses NLP I am reminded of a lecture by  David Gordon in 2002.

Gordon argued that NLP modeling techniques have the potential to enhance society or to narrow our focus and exclude some of the beauty and diversity.

Pop seduction experts sell  a marketable sexual stereotype that excludes other beautiful romantic and erotic alternatives.

True, a confident man can this psychology to make dating fun, positive and exciting for women – or he can fall into sexually objectifying her.

Women have been using seductive cues from perfume, lipstick and now the push up bra for millennia to subliminally influence men.

It seems to me it’s all about marketing – about using your Unique Selling Position. Of course a peacock has different assets than a human.

Cornell University biologist Kevin  McGraw found that women used a flexible sexual economic  supply and demand strategy.

“In densely populated places, personal ads indicate that male-provided material comforts seem more important to women than do emotional or intellectual aspects of a relationship.”

In medium- and smaller-sized cities, “Women place more emphasis on emotional aspects or personal interests of potential mates, and less on materialism.”

“Women are sensitive to social context” states a study from UCLA stating women prefer prestige “the traits and behaviors that women found attractive in athletic competitions were unattractive to women when men displayed the same traits and behaviors in interpersonal contexts.”

“These findings directly contradict the dating advice of some pop psychologists who advise men to be aggressive in their social interactions.”

Few marriages survive caveman psychology.

Perhaps we need to remember that nature is extremely diverse. True our exercise of free will is restricted by biology and environment, so perhaps we should forget the gurus and look within.

In A Beautiful Mind, economic theorist John Nash realizes that fewer win if everyone chases the same girl. I suggest you stop chasing preconceived ideas of sexual success, discover your authentic self and make it your Unique Selling Position.

When you can look deep within, it enhances every aspect of life. By being true to yourself you have a greater authenticity to offer the world, your lover and yourself and share the greatest pleasure.

You are no longer play sexual economics, but become an artist of life and love who with a great gift for the world.