Biblical Soul Mates

The first marriage, according to the Bible, seems to have had a rocky start.

The woman barely arrives and is tricked by a snake, Adam is to star struck to act responsibly and follows his hormones, then blames G-d for making the woman in the first place.

To think, not long before he was poetically expressing adoration of the beautiful stunner who “ was “bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.’

Of course in Kabbalah, as in most Abrahamic mysticism, it is not quiet so simple. Hebrew is a language of many shades of meaning.

In the Bible it seems that a woman can be the cause of good or bad. Or does it?

“He who has found a woman has found good” says Proverbs 18:22 Yet Ecclesiastes warns “and I find woman bitterer than death” (Eccl. 18:22).

In Kabbalah it is taught that soul mates were united as one soul before being sent to earth to find each other (Zohar 343b),

This is why a man who “has found” his soul mate has found “good”.

He has found, he is focused on her. He is no longer checking out the female competition.

However, Ecclesiastes is written in the present tense.

Rabbi  Harav Yitzchak Ginsburgh explains it this way: “In the second verse, however (which in the original literally reads “and find I bitterer than death the woman”), the subject (“I”) is interposed between the verb (“find”) and its object (“woman”), thereby implying that the man is really more concerned with finding himself–i.e., with his own self-gratification”.

By being focused on the commonality inherent in being one soul in spirit realm success can be found. The man focused on chasing his immediate gratification may forget that greater joy is found in deep spiritual connection.

This does not mean ignoring oneself, infact a person must take personal responsibility, however, by knowing oneself one is empowered to be able to give more to others.

When he sees the greater joy and responsibility inherent in seeing his g-d directed mission in his family partnership.

Hence the proverb actually concludes “He who has found a woman has found good, and will elicit [good] will from G-d.”

Now lets check out the second verse:

“And I find woman bitterer than death, for her heart is snares and nets, and her hands are fetters. He who is good before G-d will flee from her, but he who sins shall be caught by her.”

In Kabbalah the characters often refer to internal states. When the man is again ‘good toward G-d” he flees not form his wife but the ego driven illusion, the destructive fantasy, he has developed.

When he accepts the reality of his wife, when he truly find the spark of the divinity within her, that they both shared in a previous life, then he is able to find that person who makes him complete as Eve was intended for Adam.

Adam named Eve after he ‘found” her. In the same way we become one flesh when we finally recognize the oneness shared as common souls. The unity comes not from an ego deficiency or a male power play – but from commonality.

“Our sages teach us that (Kidushin 2b) “it is the way of man to search for woman,” for he is in fact searching for his own lost side or rib (Bereishit Rabbah 17:6). Spiritually, this lost side is the unconscious level of his own soul” writes Rabbi Ginsburg.

He finds both his own unconscious yearnings and a sacred bond of marriage that elevates the union to a level of spirit.

So perhaps if Adam had been a bit more of a man, Eve wouldnt have sought out sweet nothings and nibbled at temptation.

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