This is Part 2 ofthe Seven Colours of Love Relationship Series. See Part 1: Life Love and Relationship Values
Love is kind – however, sometimes love you must be focused and disciplined.
Other times you need compassion, endurance, and humility.
We also seek to bond as friends and lovers, while at the same time, we seek a greater ‘soul purpose’ by which we rule our life.
Love seems to be so many different things, to different people at different times.
What will determine our success in love? Orthe direction and success of our life? Our heirachy of values.
Unfortunately, we mostly seek to be made complete by another person.
If I live by my values I can come to a relationship and ask What is ion this relationship for the other person. A person is attracted to you because you fulfil one or more oftheir highest values.
As we will show tomorrow, when to people know thier own values and thevalues of their lover, you can find mutually inspiring solutions to life and love.
Most people enter a relationship addicted to the pleasure hormones that soon dies along with the infatuation. Love is NOT blind. Infatuations are blind. love sees each other as equals with different viewpoints and values.
What we look for and find in love and life is determined by our values in the seven areas of life: spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, familial, social, and physical.
Traditionally, sex divides about 75% of us toward intellect or emotional values: men to the mind andwomen to the heart.
All to often it is to easy to expect ourpartner to have the same filterted view of life. successful relationships each partner knows hisown values and appreciates those of his partner.
The purpose of this exercise, to be sread over two posts, is to find how I can honour my partners values and in sa way that is true to my own. It is based on the work of John Demartini.
Generally, we met resistance in love and immediateky allow one of the seven fears top cloud our behavior.
These seven fears can run your life and keep you from living your life to the fullest:
1. Fear of breaking away from the values system of a perceived spiritual authority. (I
don’t want to be considered a bad person or go to hell.)
2. Fear of not having the mental capability. (I’m not smart enough. I don’t have a degree.)
3. Fear of failure. (I’ll fall short.)
4. Fear of losing it all financially. (I’ll go broke or bankrupt. I won’t make enough money to survive.)
5. Fear of losing loved ones. (My parents might disown me, my lover will leave me, my kids will hate me . . .)
6. Fear of societal rejection. (I’m afraid of what people will think, I won’t fit in, and people won’t want to be with me.)
7. Fear of not having the physical capability. (I’m not tall enough, strong enough, or goodlooking enough. I don’t have the energy for all of this.)
This is true of yourself, your lover and your family.
In the days ahead you and your partner discover your own hierarchy of values. This knowledge will empower you both to greater heights of love, sucees, intimacy and passion.
It will empower your entire life.
Then over the next week we will begin the process of recreating your spiritual and emotional world.
Have you ever tried to answer a personality profie and suddenlt felt stuck? Have you found your mind blocked when asked those inntrospective personal questions?
Since your life reflects what you value most, why not lookat your objective results?
These are the 12 areas to consider:
For each one of these areas yopu will end up with three or four items
- How do you fill your space?
- How do you mostly spend your time?
- How do you mostly spend your energy?
- How do you mostly spend your money?
- Where are you most organized?
- Where are you most disciplined?
- What do you mostly think about?
- What do you visualize mostly
- What do you mostly talk to yourself about?
- What do you mostly talk with others about?
- What do you mostly react to?
- What are most your goals about?
Examine these in turn and see how they piece together and reveal your core values.
I suggest you randomly and rapidly right down everything that comes to mind for each section and record the top 3 or 4 top answers in Relationship Values Inventory Part A you can download the pdf file and print it out to record your answers.
Relationship Values Inventory Part A also includes supplementary questions to help inspire your answers.
Your Feelings About Your Answers
The language you use describe these answers can help you determine what you value about them..do you see a pattern in the words you used to describe these life areas?
Do you use words like beauty or beautiful, fearful or scared, or sexy?
Our language deternines the imagesthat fill our minds and inspire our heart.
As you look over your list of 3 items in each area whar decriptiovewords come to mind for each item.
In describing your goals, for example, think of the most powerful language you can to motvate you to reach your goals.
If you could put a value or feeling next to each of your life experiences are there any common values that stand out? Which one of these feelings andvalues matter most to you? Can you prioritize them?
Can you list these values according to a heirachy of values?
Hierarchy of Values:
1st ________________________________________________________________
2nd ________________________________________________________________
3rd ________________________________________________________________
4th ________________________________________________________________
5th ________________________________________________________________
6th ________________________________________________________________
7th ________________________________________________________________
Are any of these values where you feel a voidin your life? What you percieve as a lack orvoid is often a value that you desire.
When you are ready, move to the next part and we will prioritize your emotions and feelings against your life situations in a more structured way. (Just to be sure).
In the next part of the process we will look at how you feel about these 12 areas of life.
Does Gender Influence Prosperity?
Because of our neurochemistry, men and women will literally experience this type of marketing message in their bodies, but not in the same way. Many women read or hear this masculine approach, believe it’s the “only” way to succeed (it works for men, after all), but don’t like how it makes them feel; and for good reason.