This is Part 2 ofthe Seven Colours of Love Relationship Series.  See Part 1: Life Love and Relationship Values

Love is kind – however, sometimes love you must be focused and disciplined.

Other times you need compassion, endurance, and humility.

We also  seek to bond as friends and lovers, while at the same time, we seek a greater ‘soul purpose’ by which we rule our life.

Love seems to be so many different things, to different people at different times.

What will determine our success in love? Orthe direction and success of our life? Our heirachy of values.

Unfortunately, we mostly seek to be made complete by another person.

If I live by my values I can come to a relationship and ask What is ion this relationship for the other person. A person is attracted to you because you fulfil one or more oftheir highest values.

As we will show tomorrow, when to people know thier own values and thevalues of their lover, you can find mutually inspiring solutions to life and love.

Most people enter a relationship addicted to the pleasure hormones that soon dies along with the infatuation. Love is NOT blind. Infatuations are blind. love sees each other as equals with different viewpoints and values.

What we look for and find in love and life is determined by our values in the seven areas of life: spiritual, mental, vocational, financial, familial, social, and physical.

Traditionally, sex divides about 75% of us toward intellect or emotional values: men to the mind andwomen to the heart.

All to often it is to easy to expect ourpartner to have the same filterted view of life. successful relationships each partner knows hisown values and appreciates those of his partner.

The purpose of this exercise, to be sread over two posts, is to find how I can honour my partners values and in sa way that is true to my own. It is based on the work of John Demartini.

Generally, we met resistance in love and immediateky allow one of the seven fears top cloud our behavior.

These seven fears can run your life and keep you from living your life to the fullest:

1. Fear of breaking away from the values system of a perceived spiritual authority. (I

don’t want to be considered a bad person or go to hell.)

2. Fear of not having the mental capability. (I’m not smart enough. I don’t have a degree.)

3. Fear of failure. (I’ll fall short.)

4. Fear of losing it all financially. (I’ll go broke or bankrupt. I won’t make enough money to survive.)

5. Fear of losing loved ones. (My parents might disown me, my lover will leave me, my kids will hate me . . .)

6. Fear of societal rejection. (I’m afraid of what people will think, I won’t fit in, and people won’t want to be with me.)

7. Fear of not having the physical capability. (I’m not tall enough, strong enough, or goodlooking enough. I don’t have the energy for all of this.)

This is true of yourself, your lover and your family.

In the days ahead you and your partner discover your own hierarchy of values. This knowledge will empower you both to greater heights of love, sucees, intimacy and passion.

It will empower your entire life.

Then over the next week we will begin the process of recreating your spiritual and emotional world.

Have you ever tried to answer a personality profie and suddenlt felt stuck? Have you found your mind blocked when asked those inntrospective personal questions?

Since your life reflects what you value most, why not lookat your objective results?

These are the 12 areas to consider:

For each one of these areas yopu will end up with three or four items

1. How do you fill your space?
2. How do you mostly spend your time?
3. How do you mostly spend your energy?
4. How do you mostly spend your money?
5. Where are you most organized?
6. Where are you most disciplined?
7. What do you mostly think about?
8. What do you visualize mostly
9. What do you mostly talk to yourself about?
10. What do you mostly talk with others about?
11. What do you mostly react to?
12. What are most your goals about?

Examine these in turn and see how they piece together and reveal your core values.

I suggest you randomly and rapidly right down everything that comes to mind for each section and record the top  3 or 4 top answers in Relationship Values Inventory Part A you can download the pdf file and print it out to record your answers.

Relationship Values Inventory Part A also includes supplementary questions to help inspire your answers.

Your Feelings About Your Answers

The language you use describe these answers can help you determine what you value about them..do you see a pattern in the words you used to describe these life areas?

Do you use words like beauty or beautiful, fearful or scared, or sexy?

Our language deternines the imagesthat fill our minds and inspire our heart.

As you look over your list of 3 items in each area whar decriptiovewords come to mind for each item.

In describing your goals, for example, think of the most powerful language you can to motvate you to reach your goals.

If you could put a value or feeling next to each of your life experiences are there any common values that stand out? Which one of these feelings andvalues matter most to you? Can you prioritize them?

Can you list these values according to a heirachy of values?

Hierarchy of Values:

1st ________________________________________________________________

2nd ________________________________________________________________

3rd ________________________________________________________________

4th ________________________________________________________________

5th ________________________________________________________________

6th ________________________________________________________________

7th ________________________________________________________________

Are any of these values  where you feel a voidin your life? What you percieve as a lack orvoid is often a value that you desire.

When you are ready, move to the next part and we will prioritize your emotions and feelings against your life situations in a more structured way. (Just to be sure).

In the next part of the process we will look at how you feel about these 12 areas of life.

What holds a relationship together? Why is it that some people seem to be able to help others succeed and empower their own success?

If you want to succeed in love, how can you be sure you know what a pertner wants in you? Do you even know what you want yourself?

What if you think you know what your lover wants and then you find you have totally different vales?

Why does your lovers habits, push all your buttons?  Drive you crazy because you can’t live with them or without them?

Most of use ener a relationship either infatuated with a dream image and scarred by past loves.

The truth is, your soulmate is already waitng for us, if only we discovred what values we were chasing in thefragments of perfection we find in so many others.

The answer is in knowing yourself and knowing your own core values and then enpowered by that knowledge, being able to take control of life.

…. or by ignoring it.

When you know your values  you can direct your own ship. You know which way to set your sails and catch the winds of change for your own success. You have the power to make your relationship a rewarding experience.

A directionless love is wearing and negative. It soon wilts with the hammerings of frustration and unfulfilled desires. Potentially, it could drift into unhealthily making the other feel uncomfortable.

Eighty percent of lifes success depends on meeting others peoples iner core values, being able to know and meet people’s needs leads to the greatest success in life or love.. Not technical skill.

Underneath all the window dressing of philosophy and religion is the idea that al forces andenergies are within you.

“Between positively and negatively charged particles is a center point of light. Between positively and negatively charged emotions is the center point of love” wrote John Demartini.

“The center point is what every human being already is, yet elusively still seeks. True love is our ultimate objective, whether we’re aware of it or not.”

Does that sound a little too mystical to you? Is your success fate? Is love the reuniting of soulmates? Or are we simply driven by evolutionary forces?

We are a mix of many forces, both good and bad, biological and . We see this when the most beautiful ideas are turned to evil – or when destructive people realise that all their fruistration can be turned to good to become a great a success.

John Demartini is reminding us that there is desire for love that we are flailing toward if only we knew it.

We see this in love, and sex.

Sex is important to people. Whatever your opinion, 5% of web searches are sex related. We can neither deny our biological desires, or their historical and at times mythological influence on our lives.

But our view of love, sex and success is determined by our values.

These are the filter through which we see the world. A person who is logical will not be persuaded by emotion and an emotional person will not be persuaded by logic.

Why is it that we must go through a series of life lessons that are like blind spots for our greater purpose? When finally we realise our own truth it is as if we are coming home and discovering what we already intuitivley knew, but ignored all along.

What we value most determines the life we live. Imagine tow people each knowing thier life purpose. When two people are able to openly understand each other’s hierarchy of values, they both can have their and their lovers desires met simultaneously.

This requires we openly acknowledge our biological make up without guilt or shame. At the same time, religion is a major player in people’s lives.  Religions now criticized as chauvinistic often freed women before patriarchal organizations took over.

Yet originally Mohammad demanded women be given an inheritance, Christian’s are ordered to love their wives and even die for them,   Some Indian scholars make similar claims of hindusm.

The cultural and psychic forces are as contradictory as the diverse way we show love and lust, union and the arts of the pickup.

This “matured into what we call romanticism. The Western men began to look on woman as the embodiment of all what is pure, sacred and whole, woman became the symbol of a anima, ‘My Lady Soul’” said Jungian romance expert Robert  Johnson.

“When we “fall in love” we feel completed, as though a missing part of ourselves has been returned to us. Life has intensity, a glory, an ecstasy and transcendence”

Johnson argues that the West spends so much time chasing the external that it forgets to turn around and look within.

“It is a true task of a truly modern mind to endure both the spiritual and practical as the framework for the life.”

What we are seeking cannot be reduced to a person, or a thing, but “psychological qualities; love, truth, honesty, loyalty, purpose” that we find empowering said Johnson.

I invite you on a journey to find the meaning of love in your own life. To reintegrate  you’re heart and soul.

Or as Nietzsche said, we should live every moment of our lives as though we were sentenced to repeat it over and over, forever and ever, for all eternity. We should live each moment as though we were creating an eternal, unchangeable work of art.

If you want to know what inspires your lover, your boss, or your closest friend ..

….. and

If you know what inspires yourself …..

Motivating others is suddenly easy because others feel they are being heard, their aspirations met and …

.. just as importantly ….

Your own values are satified. You feel inspired, motivated and emcouraged because your values are being met at the same time.

By knowing yourself, your strengths and your weeknesses, your goals and your achiles heal, you are able to take control of yourself.

No longer will you be thrown when someone pushes your buttons. You will know what values being challenged and what you desire.

From a position of strength you meet people’s emotional and logical needs.

Then life, love, business and success come easily as you

If you want to know how to understand the values, press this link and begin the Better Loving Relationship Worksheet in our next post.

Find out what drives you and what inspires your lover.

It’s not about Sex

You wouldn’t think so. Yet sex is addictive – I don’t mean the tiger Woods kind of addiction.

I mean the illusion – seeking something better of hoping you will be found in another.

We feel the intensity. We know the instinct attention that those three letters grab and sadly forget that after the initial hormonal rush we are seeking far more and yearning greater horizons.

Growth comes from bridging ever expanding circles, said Emerson in Essays of Circles. In love,  like creativity, takes us across concentric circles in two directions simultaneously.

You are intrigued by the person because they remind you of a forgotten shadow of yourself. You are empowered to reach out, precisely because you have something you can hold onto within.

Unfortunately, as a mirror to our soul, those dearest to us,  have a nasty habit of triggering hidden demons.

This is at once creative and repressive, scary and inspiring. It is transformative; and  like any transformation experience it can be a frightening experience.

To find its transmuting power we must be cavers of the soul, seeking Paleolithic art buried hidden in cavernous tunnels. The passages seem endless, unable to be grasped, deep in the earth like the womb of the divine mother.

It seems in this confined finite space there is infinitude of experience.

Alluding to Jungian imagery, Anton Ehrenzweig compared it to the womb.

A fair analogy: Ideas are like semen. Without fertilizing an ovum they die out. The seed must grow, simmering in the hidden depths refined and eventually revealed.

Gestation is a time of massive upheaval and growth yet this pre-birth experience is so much like the birth of an idea. Fueled by experience, necessity is often the mother of invention. Of course, necessity focuses our energies.

However, the creative juice lay’s deep in an eternal uterus of past meanings and biological compulsions. Motherhood is at once biological, and experiential. Emotions are fueled both by raging hormones, others the product of life’s ups and downs, a beautiful melody or a spousal argument.

Like the Hindu divinity Kali, mothers are seen as elevated extremes of life. She can be an angel incarnate: supportive, kind, cheerful, good cook, neat dresser, humble, sweet, and nurturing at all times.

She is at times demonized as the “hungry sow who devours her young,” at once the image of the “terrible mother,” who gives life and destroys it.  She is connected with the cycles of the moon, women’s menstruation, the cycles of nature that can be at once creation and destruction, light and dark.

While, I am not Hindu, I think the metaphor of Kali powerfully captures the forces hidden deep within the creative soul. We all are creative, it’s just some capture that essence, and women embody it.

Queen Mab - Gustave Doré (1832 - 1883)

Such powerful earthy psychological forces can frighten us and in the past have men have harshly judged the ‘neuroses’ of women. Or  fearfully harangued as by Mecutio in Shakespeares Queen Mab speech.

However, when these powerful forces are accepted, and integrated, they can be powerfully inspiring and transformative.

Building stand high because they have harnessed buried energies of a deep, unseen foundation. Sadly, we often ignore what we don’t see –until we start to design a structure for ourselves. Our ideas lay dormant, unfertiliised by the gestation of experience, and die out.

There is direction,  of course – you know a baby is coming you prepare with focused anticipation. However, the creative foundation lays in the unconscious waiting to be harnessed, like a buildings foundation unseen and often forgotten, it is still there.

Similarly, our lives are built on foundations that include the stories and metaphors of generations that came before us. The power of religion and art allows us to access the unknown through metaphor.

Hidden beneath our public success are hidden pasts. stories, and meaning fed to us by culture and experience, religion and rationalism.

The effect is far deeper than existential mumbo jumbo

Clifford Geertz in Interpretation of Cultures decribed mankind as “incomplete or unfinished animals who complete themselves through culture.”

“Our central nervous system – and most importantly its crowning curse and glory, the neo-cortex – grew up in great part with culture” he said, explaining that the neo-cortex ““is incapable of directing our behavior or organizing our experience without the guidance provided by systems of significant  symbol.”

This is why women’s influence is so powerful – and at once frightening to some men who feel shunted to the sidelines of their children’s lives.

Women have leaned the power of being. However, like Kali, that means enduring the rollercoaster of experience. Unlike a man, a woman cannot compartmentalize motherhood.

The child is both in her and part of her. Even as a newborn grows into adulthood there remains a connection.

She knows that happiness, romance and love – true love – means connecting. It means giving your all for your child.

Yet, there is something messy about motherhood. Nappies, cleaning and, even before that, the profound changes of pregnancy.

Motherhood  is frightening. You are expected to be the calm embodiment of perfection. At once you yearn for the poetry of courtly love of chivalrous knights, or the poetic embellishments of Shakespeare.

No women can manage the romantic delusions and get on with life. The huge emotional; investment tears at the soul and sometimes weighs heavily on child and spouse.

No wonder, Kali’s metaphor is so powerful an expression of the grief, anger, fear, despair that can over shadow womankind. She can embody so much beauty or be destructively dark.

However, metaphoric death need not be so final. A child dies to her naivety as she is forced to fit a role, no doubt driven by mother, to fill.

Death to the past is like the corn seed scattered in death and resurrected as Osiris or Bacchus. Cast into the primordial ocean of a creative womb the new birth is both painful and rewarding – unless we abort the process of self transformation.

Here is where masculine and feminine energies must meet, not just in a union of passionate souls, but also in the process of selection.

It is like a gardener who realizes she must prune off dead wood and at times remove whole plants so that the hardier shrub has room to grow.

The butterfly - Luis Ricardo Falero

But then motherhood, like gardening, is holistic.

You stay part of this connection because you and your child are connected – even after decades.

What women know instinctively, or at least learn, men must learn through trial and error.

He soon learns that his trendy, zippy hatch back may be a chic magnet but he finds he is among strangers who one admired the same, now faded chariot.

A few scratches, the novelty gone, and one day he discovers that true love, and true happiness, means looking at your life-long lover and being willing to put your life on the line for her.

It’s not about scattered parts of the soul – each demanding supremacy, each afraid of being caught out.

A scattered mind, and a scattered love, cannot really care. Below the romantic façade, scattered unrealized shadows cannot truly connect.

When the façade is penetrated, our truth discovered, it’s no longer about me. Then you have the capacity for honesty, decency, consistency, and personal leadership.

You realize, finally, that you are indeed one, that beyond the limits of flesh and bone, we are, through our mirror neurons a greater collective whole bound in your soul mate.

When  you find the hidden Paleolithic art deep in your psychic cave, is revealed to the light, your fragmented psyche is made whole once more. Now whole you become able to give more to your soul mate that

The power of love is made whole, not by isolated analysis or fleeting passion, but by connection.

Oxytocin makes other people appear moretrusting claims science.
Oxytocin  can also effect women’s prosperity.

Guest commentator Joyce Shafer explains.

True prosperity represents well-being in all areas of our lives. We know men and women are different, but we didn’t know one particular difference affects their prosperity attraction quotient.

Ellie Drake of BraveHeartWomen and Dr. Sugar Singleton hosted a teleconference that was as riveting as informative in its explanation of what they call the prosperity hormones of men and women. More information will be offered here, but one of the most obvious means to see and feel this difference is to compare marketing pieces you receive from men and from women. It’s likely the “standard” masculine approach will either state or imply that what’s offered will crush the competition and explode income. Lacking a better example, but perhaps using softer language, many women basically copy such an approach.

Because of our neurochemistry, men and women will literally experience this type of marketing message in their bodies, but not in the same way. Many women read or hear this masculine approach, believe it’s the “only” way to succeed (it works for men, after all), but don’t like how it makes them feel; and for good reason.

The program hosts said what adversely affects women’s prosperity attraction quotient is that prosperity scripts have been written by men, which means they’re not in harmony with the feminine. Therefore, such scripts are distorted for women. This creates inconsistency in attraction of prosperity, fatigue, hopelessness, lack of self-confidence, interrupted belief in the self and capabilities, and more.

They listed four types of feminine prosperity seekers.

1. Women who follow the masculine model. Some women manage this better than others. However, the stress of doing this affects the body of any woman who follows this path, whether to a lesser or greater degree.
2. Some women are more “softly” feminine; they lack boldness. Drake said it’s what Carolyn Myss calls the “shadow,” meaning these women exist mostly in spirit rather than with a balance between spirit and matter. An interesting aspect is they believe prosperity is one-sided, which means they tend to balk when asked to pay (exchange) in order to receive. (Perhaps this is because they feel so powerless in the absence of a feminine prosperity model, which means they don’t have the prosperity they desire; it’s like a leak in their container they don’t know how to fix, so they focus solely on refilling the container.)
3. Some are confused because they know the masculine model is not for them, but they lack a feminine model. They start and stop. They can’t figure out how to tap into the right neurochemistry and neurophysiology, and this creates stress in all areas of their lives.
4. These women have figured out how to operate their lives (and businesses) in ways appropriate for them and in harmony with their feminine energy. (Ellie Drake does this. So does Sharon Wilson, founder of Coaching From Spirit, who teaches spiritualpreneurs of both genders how to create their own ideal marketing and business models.)

So, what are these hormones?

Adrenaline is the masculine hormone. It’s the fight-or-flight chemical; and the hosts said men tend to choose “fight.” This chemical helps men conquer whatever they’re after or working against or for. It’s the survival-of-the-fittest chemical. It drives and supports their efforts to compete. Men bond through competition, women don’t. The repetitive rush of adrenaline in the body works for men, but not for women. In a woman’s body, the repeated release of this hormone causes stress, exhaustion, illness, abdominal fat storage and hampers the body’s overall ability to lose the weight it gains, as well as loss of focus, confidence, and sex drive. It wears her out, burns her out, on all levels. (Note: a serious adrenaline imbalance can create the same symptoms in a man’s body.)

This adrenaline model is the basis of the masculine prosperity script. Women who follow this script, sooner or later, find their neurochemistry pushed; and the result is the emergence of the “Witch” (but the word usually starts with a B). The Witch surfaces because she’s attempting to go against her nature (our bodies physically, outwardly reflect what’s going on at the inner level). Body chemistry gets out of balance; and the stressed-out, exhausted, frustrated woman becomes critical, judgmental, and often loudly vocal. A man who behaves this way is considered by some to be one of the boys, admired for knowing how to get what he wants; not so for a woman.

The feminine prosperity hormone is oxytocin. This chemical inspires a woman’s bonding mechanism with her partner (released during sex, and especially orgasm), with her children (released during labor; causes uterine contractions), and during times when other forms of bonding occur. It allows women to relax. It’s known as the cuddle hormone. Women love how they feel when this chemical flows through their bodies, men love the adrenaline rush. Oxytocin is released in a man’s body, but testosterone negates it to a great degree in men. Adrenaline is an estrogen antagonist for women and blocks the release of oxytocin. When adrenaline is released in a woman’s body, she doesn’t feel good; when released in a man’s body, he feels enlivened.

The hosts explained that a woman who attempts to express herself using the masculine adrenaline-based model finds her maternal and bonding abilities hampered. A woman wants to give birth to her purpose, to “nest” it, and to bond through like-mindedness so that a cooperative community is created. Oxytocin supports a woman’s innate maternal courage to stay consistent about what’s needed to help her baby, or her vision, grow. A woman whose oxytocin release is blocked struggles to create what she desires. Her consistency slips away; she feels unable to see things through.

There is no pill or injection that can address this. Just as learning creates pathways in the brain, it isn’t just the chemical release of oxytocin that supports a woman wholly, but the physiological connections and pathways created by the holistic process. This chemical relationship is so sensitive that even the use of masculine affirmations, rather than feminine, can hamper a woman.

Women who want to know more can do so if they become BraveHeartWomen core members.

Whether you’re a man or woman reading this, give this information consideration. Look at the areas of your life and ask yourself how this applies to you and your personal and professional relationships. Whatever your gender, what one thing can you do differently, starting today?

Success = Better Questions to Get Better Answers. Is it time to learn how to more effortlessly have desired experiences in life and business? Let Reinvent Yourself: Refuse to Settle for Less in Life and Business coaching program or e-book show you how. You Are More! Empowerment Coach and author Joyce Shafer (jls1422@yahoo.com). Details about the program, her books and e-books, and current free weekly newsletter at http://stateofappreciation.webs.com

Nature understands no jesting; she is always true, always serious, always severe; she is

always right, and the errors and faults are always those of man. The man incapable of

appreciating her, she despises and only to the apt, the pure, and the true, does she resign

herself and reveal her secrets.

– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

This is Part 1 in a series of articles on Values Driven success

Life is the great testing ground and in life and love reality and not theory count. In the first few seconds of meeting you so are sized up, assessed and categorized.

I suppose that is why people are so hung up about looks.

If your figure fits what is popular for the moment, or your build has a proportion of the golden mean, then people subconsciously are attracted to you.

These high status males, or supermodel females know their power and act in predictable ways.

Fortunately, you can model success strategies for your own personal growth.

Does this mean you fake it until you make it?

No!

As any public speaker will tell you, you can develop habits that help you relax, build your confidence and relax your audience.

Success and attractiveness, like beauty, come from within.

No man (or women) is an island. We are part of a biofeedback system called life – my emotions affect me and radiate out to others.

As I change myself, I change how people respond to me. I can become successful and a magnet of attraction.

Nevertheless, the results of life give us a yard stick to look deep within.

“When an inner situation inside of us is not made conscious,
it is projected outside of us as fate” – Carl Jung

What are the beliefs that are holding me back? What are my beliefs about life, myself, and possible change?

Take a seven day challenge: For seven days record your negative beliefs when they come to the surface and simply recognize them. By recognizing then you release their power.

Fears and beliefs that are repressed will rule your life.

You could even begin your day by asking yourself how to you feel.  Do you feel anxious? Do not fight it – simply ask why you feel this way and let it go.

It is counter intuitive, yet when we let go we find the power to go forward.

We must accept the reality of life – including our feeling s. If we do not, then a huge barrier of emotional energy will hold us back.

Keep a Success Journal: Just a simple note book to hide in your pocket. You made it to an appointment on time –write it down. You cooked a beautiful mea? Record it.

Soon you will have evidence of your successes – evidence that the universe is supporting you and is a friendly place.

Then when the ego washes over you with fears and doubts you can stick your note book in its face and remind yourself of your abundant successes and challenges met.

…If you look to others for fulfillment,

you will never truly be fulfilled.

If your happiness depends on money,

you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.

– Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

I suggest that deep lasting success is far more than achievement.

Many have found themselves in dark moments, driven by insecurity, a lack of integrity and an need to prove themselves, only to feel a profound sense of loneliness

Some feel a dishonest under a façade of success that should make them happy because they achieved what society demanded.

Yet they wake up each morning and hear a little voice telling them they are in the wrong job, or sleeping with the wrong guy or girl.

For me success is when both the masculine conquering energies and feminine sense of nurture merge to serve the greater good.

The greatest fulfillment and joy always comes from serving and working with others.

Yet sometimes under the facade of success we trying to fill an inner emptiness:

• craving approval.
• Seeking  control
• Or yearning safety and security

Yet when we chase these things we drive them further away and the emptier we feel.

But don’t we have to conquer to succeed …. ?

Yes – to a point. It is as if we have two souls, an animal driving instinct seeking to conquer and an more spiritual side seeking meaning and fulfillment.

Like it or not, on a gut level you are judged in seconds. We are instinctively measured by physical and social ideals. Some claim it’s a biological evolutionary imperative.

A simple look at successful businessmen and politicians how attractive success can be.

Nor is true success is superficial.

According to Biological Psychiatry, people who achieve greater social status are more likely to be able to experience life as rewarding and stimulating because they have more D2/D3 receptors in the striatum, a region of the brain that plays a central role in reward and motivation

What is exciting is the many examples of men with little social status who create massive attraction because they have mastered the outward indicators of success.

As neuro-plasticity research is showing, we can even change our brain.

So while few have the massive power, wealth and looks you can successfully convey the indicators of status” said Alex Benzer in The Tao of Dating – The Thinking Man’s Guide to Success With Women.

“For men, some of these are relaxed body language, deep tone of voice, measured pace of speech, economy of movement, wit, and general excellence” he said.

You may not have Barry White’s basso profundo, but you can drop your pitch and speak a little slower. It will relax you and your listener.

You can practice resonating the voice of your soul by humming in your lips, then mouth throat and then down into the belly and diaphragm. You can also experiment with pausing – learning to slowdown and hypnotically hold your words for effect.

Long term success requires more than pretending to be better than we really are – sooner or later people find out if you’re a jerk.

“When you argue with reality you lose – but only 100% of the time – Byron Katie.

We are not children who have never faced change – we need to remind ourselves of how much we have gone through (some not too pleasant) to prove we can face the next obstacle

We give ourselves permission to feel our feelings – the feelings we try to suppress are the feelings that are ruling your life.

So rather than complain about circumstances, we change our approach and conquer.

So it is with the confusing realm of romance. He finds her at once frustrating, annoying even scary. She finds him distant and one dimensional – except when he wants sex.

These very same emotions can encourage fascination and admiration in him or she may respect his self control and disciplined success.

Rather than fight about our difference, relationships can sharpen our focus, teach us to make better distinctions and grow.

Some Themes of success

Alex Benzer addresses three overarching themes that I believe we need if we are to be successful in life.

Benzer said men need to know if they are to attract their soulmate.

However, all three agree with the Law of Attraction. They also are consistent with the biological differences that both attract (and occasionally repel) us to women.

• Wealth-consciousness, or the mindset of abundance. There is enough

of everything to go around for everyone.

• Be-Do-Have mentality,“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve” said Napoleon Hill.

• Enlightened self-interest, which is about acting with integrity.

I would like to focus on being the type of man or woman that will attract the soul mate of your dreams. Or being the successful writer, entrepreneur and lover your desire.

Let’s think about the Law of attraction. It is often quoted to say that like attracts like. But that is only partly true.

As James Arthur Ray reminds us The Law of Attraction operates on 4 levels:

1. The Physical Level: Opposites attract. Man attracts woman (and in same sex relationships one partner is often more masculine, the other more feminine). Magnetic north attracts south.

2. Emotional Level: Similarities attract. However, what we attract is often on an unconscious level. That is I may attract people who have similar unconscious, sometimes disliked, programs to myself). This is why James Ray points out that to have a relationship with that perfect person, we must have a perfect relationship with our self, otherwise we will attract our incompleteness.

3. Mental Level: Opposites attract. Different viewpoints exist even in close relationships

4. Spiritual Level: Similarities Attract.

So to attract your soulmate, besides the physical sexual differences, you need to have similar spiritual and emotional characteristics and yet be refreshingly different enough to carry on a stimulating mental discussion.

In business if I need to be different to my customer – and have a service (s)he needs to be of benefit and interest to him.

I must know what is I have to offer the world – to use sales Jargon, I must know my unique sales position.

Growing while being yourself

As a blogger I am often struggling to find how I can best serve my readers. I have experimented with a variety of topics, often the blogs that gain the most traffic are the very things that hold only passing interest to me personally.

On the one hand I need to offer what people need and value but there are millions of articles out there – so unless I am true to myself how can I stand out?

Life is both a spiritual and a material quest – without direction we can attract all kinds of crap in our lives.

After a careful review I noticed my successful posts followed three well known laws of success.

1. Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill the space and time available
In other words, if I don’t fill my time with high value activities my life (and the blogs I write) will fill with low value distractions,
So list every single activity we do – everything – listing time spent and the reward obtained. Then evaluate your effectiveness.
2. Pareto’s Principle: 20% of our activities get 80% of the results
3. Ricardo’s Law: Specialize in what you love and find people who love to do what you don’t.

It is so easy to get caught up with what you are doing to andto fill your time with purposeful ideas that end out being a waste of time.

Again we need to measure our results with life. We also have rto be very clear about what we most value.

Nobel Lauriat for Chemistry, Ilya Prigogine, stated that we grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate.

All systems, social, personal  and economic,  go through different phases of life. Each time our system is overwhelmed by too much energy moving towards chaos, unable to dissipate the excess. Pushed to the brink, the system either breaks down or breaks through.

If it breaks through it reorganizes at a higher level and the adjusting system grows dynamically. Because it is this stress we are pushed to reorganize at a higher level and increase our prowess to manifest our desires.

You are either growing or dying – in life or love.

Being faced with change can make or break us. However, the dangerous curves on a racetrack often create the opportunities to break from the pack and take the front.

The past economic success stories of the past made established their success from the crumbling ruins of decline.

The future success stories will turn adversity into economic transformation. The same is true in all areas of success.

“It is challenges that make people great” says success coach John Demartini and for some the present uncertainty is a chance at magnificence.

History teaches us that in adversity, innovators will develop new solutions to problems formed during the collapse. The economy collapse has forced businesses to go back to basic values  people to again find out what the customer wants.

In times of economic decline, populations turn inward for support. Networking gives businesses a great opportunity to experience the needs of people and develop new opportunities.

Change always helps you find your spiritual side – that there is a bigger part outside of us, that unchangeable part within ourselves. It requires us to look within and to find what we most value in life. We then must know the hierarchy of values of our customers, our children, our spouse or boss.

The trick is to find out how by serving the needs and values of others, you can meet what you value most in yourself.

How this is done will be discussed in the next article in this series.

What are your thoughts? Agree or disagree let me know. Let me learn from the feedback of life.

For the moment take a little Taoist advice from Alex Benzer:

“The fact is that in order to reach your goals in dating or anything else in life, you have to believe that at every point along your journey of growth, you are complete. A sequoia seedling is always a sequoia at every point along its path to becoming a towering tree” he said.

“You are always signaling to the universe “I am okay”, and the universe will agree with you. If you signal “Well, I’ll be okay if I just get this little part fixed, but I’m not quite okay right now,” then the universe will agree with you also.”

Keep Smiling,

Brian

Measuring my steps on the road to success …

The herd wanted over night wealth. Many drew on investments and then watched the market crumble. Others emotionally hang onto stocks rather than cut short their losses.

History repeats the story. In the 1600’s the tulip market would last forever, then there was the gold rushes and the technology boom. We are bombarded with images of the rich and famous. We hear of the self made successes of Bill Gates and convince ourselves they made it, so we can too. Besides, we need to keep up with the Joneses. We forget that many dot com millionaires lost their wealth and get sucked into get rich quick schemes.

State lotteries in the USA fund government services. “With cutbacks in federal spending, pressures on state lotteries to provide revenues for government programs have increased” states the 1999 USA Gambling Impact and Behavior Study.Those who can least afford it are an easy market.

The same study pointed out that Casinos found 140 lottery outlets in a poor and just five in wealthy neighborhoods. Of course, if you win the lottery and you don’t spend on friends and family you’re a snob. If you do spend it, you’re a fool for wasting your opportunity to get ahead in life. No wonder, 80% of lottery winners have lost it in two years.

Of course, money can have a positive effect. Parental wealth influences children’s educational attainment and college enrollment. Net worth predicts offspring’s homeownership in young adulthood and homeowners are more likely to have adolescent offspring who stay in school and teenage daughters are less likely to get pregnant states a study by Lori Cambell of the American Sociological Association.

“The belief that high income is associated with good mood is widespread but mostly illusory,” wrote Alan B. Krueger and psychologist and Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman.

People have a “focusing illusion” about what they think will give them happiness.

“If people have high income, they think they should be satisfied and reflect that in their answers” Krueger said. The problem is when success is valued more than principle. For example Kruger and Kahneman observed wealthy people often spend insufficient time enjoying life and are more tense.

We say money doesn’t buy happiness, but we don’t act as though we know it, said Jessie O’Neill, who at 22 inherited 3 million dollars.

“Inherited or sudden wealth can create a false sense of entitlement, a loss of future motivation, and an inability to delay gratification and tolerate frustration” she said.It can damage your self esteem, self worth and self confidence.

O’Neill borrowed the term affluenza to describe the effect wealth can have on people in her book The Golden Ghetto: The Psychology of Affluence.When workaholic parents are preoccupied with the external success and ignore the internal the isolation can be passed onto the children.

“Ultimately children quit forming bonds; they just stop because it’s too painful. That goes into all parts of your life” said O’Neill. “If that ability to form an attachment bond is damaged it carries all the way throughout your lifetime.”

We need to transcend the never enough addiction and live with purpose now.

We always fall back to what we value says John Demartini. The challenge is knowing who you are and how to be of service with your passion.

If we are spiritually drifting our life will show it. You must honestly evaluate the unexaggerated and unminimized reality of every aspect of your life and remove your negative hang ups over money. You then can see the possibilities in yourself and in others.

“There is never a lack of money for anyone who wants to serve” said Demartini who asserts we must remember we are on a spiritual and material quest.

We need to know what we are to the world and believe we deserve to be paid for it. So what is it that you will do even if it is painful for you? What is it that you want to do that is congruent with our higher values? What are your talents? What do people praise you for? What do you do better than others?

Write 1000 reasons to contribute, to save and invest money and build a fortune. Write, brainstorm, analyze. Find out what is it that so inspires you that you could keep doing it and never retire?

If you set goals congruent with your values you will succeed. If your desires are not consistent with your values will die the death of intense infatuation. So will you reassess our values? Or numb yourself with another toy?

Success doesn’t just happen. We often admire achievers who seem to perform in the flow and achieve great things almost efforletlessly. Or so we think.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says creativity is a central source of meaning in our lives. A leading researcher in positive psychology, he has devoted his life to studying what makes people truly happy: “When we are involved in [creativity], we feel that we are living more fully than during the rest of life.” He developed the concept of “flow” – the creative moment when a person is completely involved in an activity for its own sake.
According to Professor Csikszentmihalyi a person usually spends ten yearss refining his skills, sometimes unknowingly in unrelated fields, yet he still has refined them.

What attitudes keep a person refining, progressing, achieving and moving toward that state of physical, spiritual and emotional unity of action and enhanced achievement called ‘flow.’

1. Consistent Action. The garment of success is held together by the threads of habit. What productive, success focused goals do you follow daily? Do you finish what you start? Are you moving toward your target daily?

2. Beyond the comfort zone. Most people live in a delusion about what feels comfortable. How often have you put off a workout because you didn’t feel like it and felt better for the exercise after you did it? The chances are that you felt uncomfortable to begin with and deceived yourself into thinking relaxing was the best choice. Rather than feeling truly relaxed you buried the nagging voice telling you to get up and train.

Successful people find refreshment in achieving their long term outcome. Rather than back away from challenges seek out solutions. Be solutions oriented, adapt well and build upon your successes and failures. Limitations are not an excuse but a stepping stone from which to grow and develop.

3. Talent and Commitment. There are plenty of unsuccessful talents in the world. Combining your talents and commitment together is what will succeed. With enthusiastic commitment any talent can be learned.

4. Passion and Drive. Successful people ooze infectious motivation passion and enthusiasm. If you are passionate you will draw people to you who will help you succeed.

5. Creativity and vision. Successful people create their vision and then work to make it a reality. Clearly define your goals. Clarity is power. A successful vision is not vague, it is clear and focused.

6. Action. Successful people act while others talk and plan. They align efforts with their goals. They do they high value actions first, and employ others to do what will bring them the least rerun on their effort. They focus on return for investment of energy.

7. Decide! Rather than procrastinate or over analyze life, they decide what they want and act on it. They don’t analyze and wait for the world to change for them, they decide what they want and bend heaven and earth to make their reality.

8. A reason to succeed. They know their reason ‘why?’ They have a reason big enough to change their world and then focus on what they can change in their life. Once they know what they can do, they act quickly and efficiently to achieve it. By focusing on what they can change, they are constantly elevating their reality and building a better platform from which to grow.

Thrive in the energy of daily successes they are constantly being refilled with energy.

9. Practical, logical and emotionally in touch. Successful people don’t bury their feelings in achievement or ignore those things that cause distress. Rather, they are so focused on their goal that they can clearly think of solutions when confronted by challenges. Like a guided missile system they are focused on target and will adjust and recalibrate their actions, responding to the feedback of life.

Plan, research and efficiently use your time and assets for maximum return.

10. Control the inner voice. Keep control of your inner world and the outer reality will follow your lead. Rather than complain and be a victim take positive control of how you feel and grow from a position of power.

70% of entrepreneurs rely on self-employment to supply their household Income according to the National Association for the Self-Employed.
It’s no wonder that going out of business, or forced to take an early retirement are on the minds of business people watching their sales revenue drying up. Will your retirement funds be lost? Will the government increase taxes to fund the economic recovery?
On top of this customers are unable or unwilling to spend and you are worried that interest rates will increase on your already maxed out credit card.

Will the new economic reality leave a mark on society like the 1930’s did on our forebears?

Before the recession, U.S. consumers were spending 110 percent of their capability according to Former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker. Like teenagers ignoring the consequences of life, the US has plunged into a national debt over $11 trillion costing $340 billion in interest.Its expected to grow to $20 trillion in according to US government expectations.
“That would mean that the interest on the national debt would be $618 billion a year or over one billion a day. No nation can hold up in the face of those kinds of expenses. Either the dollar would collapse or interest rates would go through the roof” wrote Richard Russell.
Economic necessity is forcing a social rethink. But is it being embraced?
In June, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and White House economic adviser Lawrence Summers released stronger consumer and investor protections plan that gave new powers for the Federal Reserve.
Even if they are needed the TD Ameritrade Institutional Survey revealed that 34% of registered investment advisors’ stated the regulatory changes were their top concern. This was followed by macro-economic environment (31percent), profitability (27 percent), managing risk, legal and compliance issues (18 percent) and marketing (17 percent).
“Regulatory changes are clearly weighing on the minds of RIAs right now, reflecting a growing fear of the unknown,” said managing director of advisor advocacy and industry affairs Brian Stimpfl of TD AMERITRADE Institutional.

Consumers are eating out less, more aggressively searching out discounted staples and spending less on high end foods like organic products.

Will pre-loved goods become fashionable? Will costly packaging be reduced and the throw away society decline?

The back log of for-closed homes will spawn retrofitted homes in the future and business premises may experience adaptive re-use..
When re recover from the recessions our perspective of what we value will be affected. Hopefully, we will appreciate the true worth of things, rather than be still led by transitory fashions.
Perhaps the economic constraints may help us remember that there is more to Real Estate than land prices. Real Estate is community, family, friends, schools and community events.
Sadly, although there has been great strides in ethical business practices among leaders like Richard Branson, most people are following their wallets more than their consciences.

While Branson gives vast sums to good causes, and many commercial tenants are demanding greater energy efficiency in leased buildings, the majority are less committed.

The environment is not the top concern of green consumers in the USA, their kids are not influencing them to be green, and while many know what they should do to save the planet, they often don’t do it, states a national study reported in earthtimes.org.

Although 77% of US consumers occasionally buy green products, there is no typical consumer.
59 percent stated the economy was their top concern while the environment rated 8 percent. 73 percent chose “to reduce my bills/control costs” compared to 26 percent who chose “to lessen my impact on the environment.”
Only 20 percent of respondents with children said their kids encouraged them to be greener and although most knew the eco friendly thing to do fewer people complied,
Economic development is essential to fuel the development of eco friendly solutions, but in the mean time many still do not embrace the energy conservation measures practiced by older people.

Women

Industries that have a high concentration of wowen have faired better in the recession states the ‘The impact of therecession on women’ report by the Australia Institute.
However, women are over-represented among the hidden unemployed, are less likely to seek government benefits, and are over-represented among the underemployed.
In Australia, many women move directly from employment to being completely out of the labour market and back again states the Australia Institute.
“Outside the labour market they have been ignored or incorrectly presumed to be irrelevant—yet two per cent of the female labour force move in each direction each month.”

Charities

Also charities are being forced to rethink their ability to provide services. Certainly, in these harder times, may have rallied behind their communities and helped those less fortunate.

According to the London based CASS Business School the uncertainties of the recession threaten the over £6 billion OK annual funding. The experience is repeated worldwide.

Community services are being forced to assess if they cut back on services and prepare for the worst, invest in greater fundraising, cultivate new donors or focus on present supporters.
There is even questions of whether charities should compete more aggressively for public support, or look for mergers.
Trusts and foundations are also forced to assess whether they prioritise recession needs, or maintain existing grants; Is it more responsible to control spending for the long term good, or meet immediate needs and pray the funds come through?
In the same way cCorporate donors need to assess how they can be of better assistance, give money, pro bono work, or volunteer employees.

This could mean that some charities collaborate, ensuring he views and experiences of users, donors and employees are considered in decision-making and carefully balancing immediate need against long-term investment.

Can Meditation Help You Manifest Your Desires? Ask anyone who believes in a collective human consciousness and the will answer yes. When we enter the alpha wave brain state, or even the lower theta brain pattern, we are more able to access our inner reserves and re-pattern our neurology.
Unconscious resistances bubble to the surface of our consciousness and the act of detached observation releases the emotional glue from our conditioned responses.

A practiced meditator can quickly enter the alpha state. Sometimes the alpha state is neurological anchored to a physical action so it can be achieved easily.

We all know that mental visual rehearsal achieves remarkable results with Olympians. Since Maxwell Maltz wrote Psych-cybernetics, visualization has revolutionized success coaching.

I think we all understand the method. Visualize your desired outcome, excite your mind, live out the outcome and let your brains internal cybernetic mechanism find the way for you.

For example, Australian psychologist Allen Richardson improved basket ball performance of athletes 24% by mental rehearsal alone, compared to 25% with actual practice. Also, Doctor Carl Simerton has effectively combined visualization with modern medicine to improve treatment of serious illness.

Many combine visualization and affirmations with incredible results.

Perhaps you have used the affirmation ‘Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.’ This was used by French Physician Emile Coue (1857-1926) who documented thousands of healings combining western medicine with affirmations.

Today success coaches Chant affirmations as mantra to whip up a reinforcing emotional conditioned response to form a physical trigger for change.

However, meditation works in reverse. In a meditative state an intention or affirmation is dispassionately released into the subconscious.

Is this comic alignment? Believers of prayer and meditation would answer yes.

In 1975 Dr. Herbert Benson, an associate Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School, discovered that prayer could have remarkable physical effects. However, Dr Bensons research indicated that it worked whether you prayed to the Biblical G-d, Krsna, Allah or if you meditated as a Buddhist who does not believe in a creator G-d at all.

It was the act of prayer or meditation that counted and how the prayer was performed. After years of study he concluded that the relaxation response was responsible. This relaxed state is prolonged in meditation.
In modern times, Law of Attraction teachers use simpler methods to release resistances like Ho’oponopono, and EFT to break down energetic barriers.

Does detached awareness activate a cohesive left-right brain decision making process and release cognitive dissonance? Or does it do more than access our brains abilities?

If you believe ‘The Secret’ the same method can access the universal oneness guiding the universe. Nor would you be alone. The idea of collective consciousness is taught in India and in Jewish, Christian and Islamic mysticism. Einstein, Edison, Jung, Carnegie and Goethe suggested the mind can create ‘coincidences’.

Edison believed he accessed ideas already formed from ‘the air’, Schubert described his music as remembering a melody already written. It is as if they were remembering something already formed and scientists have noted similarities between the creative and memory processes.

Tantric practitioners also believe that sustained orgasm places you in a state of divine consciousness. Ipsalu Tantra Kriya Yoga teacher, Jaiya practices releasing an intention such as world peace while in a state of sexual ecstasy.

The Hare Krisna movement promotes ecstatic chanting on any name of God to achieve Krsna consciousness. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada claimed miraculous events were recorded after the Hare Krsna chant was repeated at gatherings.

Is this truly verifiable?

Although, attempts to unify western and Eastern thought gained ground under Jung, he found that as his experiments were inconclusive. Research from Princeton and Stanford demonstrate intention can influence random number generators, dice and electronic equipment. The variations are significant, but I would not buy a lotto ticket on them.

Experimental proof that you can meditate a billion dollars remains allusive.

Nevertheless, many believe as astrophysicist Arthur Stanley Eddington (1882-1944):

‘I believe that the mind has the power to affect groups of atoms and even tamper with the odds of atomic behavior, and that even the course of the world is not predetermined by physical law, but may be altered by the uncaused volition of human beings’.

What is certain that removing our resistances and implanting a goal in our unconscious promotes achievement and the possibility of success. It may not be popular to say, but that is simple cognitive Psycholgy. This is easily achieved with mediation.

Perhaps then, we can agree with George Bernard Shaw:

“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, You will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.”

On January 24 1975, Jazz pianist Keith Jarrett arrived at the Cologne Concert Hall hungry. Trying to find a morsel before performing he discovered the wrong piano, a tinny sounding instrument, had been delivered.

From this chaos developed one of the greatest jazz improvisations ever recorded. It has sold over 3.5 million copies.

What if you were in that situation? Would you walk out? Methodically struggle through with dogged determination? Or would you truly create?

Whatever was the intended program, the different tones of the unexpected piano required a creative approach.

Jarrett said the music was improvised and “on a certain night and should go as quickly as it comes.” One section is a masterful 12 minute improvisation vamping between the chords of A minor 7 and G major. With two chords he could create a masterpiece.

We find throughout history that the greatest periods of history and the greatest achievements ate made in hardship, necessity or challenge.

Yet we try to control risk, manipulate the odds and take control.

Business people particularly try to smooth risk and plan with projections. This is of course necessary. Yet look at the balance sheets and you find an almost universal truth. It was when things went wrong – when all the projections flew out the window, that the creativity and drive of the inspired few lifted the company to the next level.

Nobel Lauriat Ilya Prigogine demonstrated that we grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate. All systems go through different phases of life. Each time our system is overwhelmed by too much energy it is moved towards chaos, unable to dissipate the excess.

Pushed to the brink, the system either breaks down or breaks through. If it breaks through it reorganizes at a higher level and the adjusting system grows dynamically.

In the same way, life’s stressors push us to reorganize at a higher level and increase our prowess to manifest our desires.

“You cannot solve a problem from the same level of thinking that created it” said Albert Einstein.

Sometimes we need a creator push to force us to look beyond our limits, to seek the answers already within and to grow spirally to greatness.

1. Have a “yes-yes” attitude

Most of us have a ‘yes-but’ approach to problems. “It may work for you, but I’m…” There is always a ‘but’ that can stop you.

Instead presume an option is true and fly with it. Mentally play out the game of ‘what if?’

2. Begin like a child

look at the problem as if for the first time. Pull away the lenses of experience and rediscover the situation. Don’t edit what breakthrough’s come to mind, just let the creative right brain fly. Later you can edit your ideas with practical experience. Just start from a new foundation first.

3. Don’t try to be right

Being worried about being right can kill your creativity. Keep an open mind. Again you can edit the technicalities of your thinking later. If you don’t your accountant or business analyst will do it for you anyway.

4. Be prepared to put off judgment

Encourage your ideas. Brainstorm. Create first and exhaust all the options, then think of some more.

5. Recognize and let go of assumptions

Your kids keep asking ‘Why?’ It doesn’t matter how logical your answer they still want to know ‘why?’

“What is important is to not stop asking questions” reminds Einstein.

Yet when it comes to the solutions of crisis the first thing people do is search for certainties. Yet it’s when logical certainties fail that creativity must find new building blocks for the logical mind to build upon.

Of course we must grow from what is proven. Technology is built on known realities. However, the creative talent that changed the world looked in the opposite direction.

It is as if the logical left builds the machine that the creative right inspired. It is at the middle, the point of the heart, that logic and creativity, expansion and constraint, find a point of balance in the seat of our compassion.

At the point creativity and crisis find balance then we discover the solutions that serve others, and as John Demartin reminds us, “There are always opportunities for those who are willing to serve.”

New Age thought preaches that you can manifest your desires by aligning with the universe. Alignment, it is claimed, occurs when we are in gratitude and have dissolved resistances that block out receiving from the altruistic intelligence governing the world.

Whether you attribute the success of Edison, Ford and others to a quantum recreation of reality by thought, or the consequence of action guided by focused intention, they acted on the belief of a reality beyond them.

Yet as “The Secret” reminds us, you can trace its ideas back to Babylon. Infact, they are found universally, not just Mesopotamia.

After meeting with Kabbalist Michael Laitman, quantum physicist, Fred Alan Wolf said that there is something about the way of thinking in Kabbalah that can improve anything by removing from the shackles of preconceived thought.

Quantum physics teaches the idea that at sub-nuclear reality we are literally one. Everything depends on the one who perceives it.

In the same way Kabbalah argues that if you learn about our true situation, you can then I can draw on the divine intelligence and begin to perceive a greater reality. Just as defocusing your eyes allows you discover a 3 dimensional image hidden in flat stereogra, your desire to see beyond your limited viewpoint focuses your attributes in such a way that you begin to see into the fabric of matter. This allows you to experience our interconnection.

The Laws of the Universe are the same in the physical spiritual and psychological worlds and transcend religious dogma. Although it is probable, that the majority of serious exponents follow Jewish religious practice because all the protocols of Jewish life are intended to help in revealing the spark of the divine that resides in all things.
The idea of universal oneness is found in many faiths, for example Hinduism. Of course there are differences. Eastern religion speaks of an infinite past and an infinite number of souls. Kabbalah describes an infinite God creating a finite number of souls that bought to the earth multiply to become many.
Many Eastern religions discourage eating animals as they too have a soul. Kabbalah recognizes that even plants have souls and so since it is impossible not to kill to eat, you elevate eating to the level of the sacred by saying a blessing.
Before descending into the body, Kabbalah claims the soul was nourished by G-d’s presence. In the earthly realm, the soul is now nourished the radiance of gods glory spread throughout creation.
The “sparks of holiness” are unlocked and nourishes the soul when eastern in an appropriate way. For a Jew, that means eating kosher food and saying a bracha, or blessing. The meal is then elevated from being a routine culinary pit stop to a gourmet spiritual experience. It depends on what Kabbalist’s call kavannah, or intention. The intense focus and realization one has as they raise their thoughts beyond this realm in humble appreciation.
We elevate ourselves from acting as animal souls to the level of a human being conscious of his spiritual reality.
When beginning a blessing, a person recites a blessing he begins Baruch Ata Ado-noy “Blessed are you, Lord.” But how can we bless the very divinity that is in the very breath we use to utter the blessing?
According to Rabbi’s we are proclaiming “You, God, are the Source of all blessing.”
The word for blessing, bracha, is related to the word berech, meaning ‘knee’ suggestive of bending your knees in thanks. It also relates to the word breicha, meaning ‘wellspring’ By saying the bracha you open a wellspring of blessing that that can abundantly flow from the Divine.
Kabbalist’s even argue that the Torah begins with the word bereshit, in the beginning, because in founding the universe He intended it as a blessing. Everything is tied to the oneness of G-d.
Another concept taught by new age success practitioners is the principle of releasing our blocks or resistances.
Jewish prayer has that very intent as one ends the day with an accounting of the soul, or Cheshbon Hanefesh. What did I do right? What did I do wrong? What could I improve? Did I hurt anyone? How may I have acted thoughtlessly, or unconsciously? Did I live up to my ethical standards? What will be my ethical intentions tomorrow?
With the aid of a prayer a person lets go of the ties that bind us to our errors and can begin again revealing the spark of the divine within creation.
The day then ends reflecting on the oneness of the universe. The Shema, the declaration of faith in the oneness of G-d is recited: ‘Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad ’, Hear, O Israel: the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
This is more than a declaration of a monotheistic divinity. It is a declaration that G-d is in all and transcends all. He is not infinite, for infinite implies he cannot be finite. However he can be both. G-d is trans-infinite; transcending all labels, and is in every blade of grass and in everything we do.
God is waiting for us to align our intention to his so that we can experience connectedness like two lovers sitting across from each other in a room.
In Kabbalah, the creator, whether described in religious or scientific terms, is the same distance from all men. Just as two people sitting in a room can be the same distance aprt and yet bound in intimate sharing or aloof separation, so too man and G-d.
By a process of spiritual refinement we can appreciate our oneness with the universal laws that guide ever level of existence.
So is Kabbalah just another form of New Age magical thinking? No. A Kabbalist must prove to herself what she experiences and assess its validity.
It is not theory. You must prove or reject it for yourself.

Listen to the guru’s and there is a lot of hype about mindset. Not that is anything new. As far back as 1937, Napoleon Hill wrote about it.

Then there are those who push hard, make it big, and suddenly find they had chased the dollar for all the wrong reasons.

To succeed you must know your passions and your values. This is 90% of success. You can make money out of almost anything, from toilet paper to the share market, But  if you don’t have the right mindset money will slip right out of your fingers.

What does having the wealth mindset really mean in practical, real terms?

Motivation

Most people say they want to be free of worry, but that approach will never motivate you to stick out the challenges in life.

You must relate your goals to what matters to you in life. What is the singly most powerful motivating reason to succeed?

Is it the love of your daughter?

Is it the desire to have a passionate life with your partner?

It is critical to know what drives you and match your goals to it.

Values

Spend time formulating your top values.

If you are clear about what you value it others will pick up on it too and honour them too. But if your values are unclear then people will draw situations into your life where you feel dissatisfied and unappreciated.

Psychology

Anthony Robbins popularized the pain-pleasure principle driving human behavior.

You can see it in how people ignore well-understood principles in the stock market. Rather than cut their losses, people feel pain at having to admit that they made a mistake. So they rationalize the market will turn and keep the stock only to lose more money.

In contrast, successful investors have very clear marketing strategies that they stick too with mathematical precision and ignore their gut reactions.

The strategies include what to do when things g wrong, but panicking is not in the plan.

Of course, mindset is nothing without strategy.

Goal Setting

 So many people sit down and decide they want $1 million dollars by a set date and never get there. To make it happen you must know exactly what that goal truly means for you. What will the goal look like? How will it feel?

Then begin to reverse plan a strategy that can be broken down into steps.

This may seem an implausible process in today’s volatile markets. How to survive financially in today’s world is big business market industry.

The Rules have changed – have you?

You must keep up with the new rules, There is no point playing by the old ways that are no longer current.

Social values have changed, following predictable, historical trends

Whether you accept William Strauss and Neill Howe, or economist Harry Dent, who argue that the economy is influenced by the aging of a baby boomer generation , or the two 40 year cycle model suggested by Greg Habstritt, we are entering a predictable period of social reintegration.

The period of economic shakedown predicted by economist’s means great wealth for those who are aware of the cycles. Expect a greater demand for social awareness, authenticity, honesty, connection in the future.

To be sure, there will always be a divisive minority as there was in the comparable 1930’s. it is up to us to use the new technologies to unify the world so that we don’t allow noisy minorities to grab a hold of nations as happened up to World War II.

Leaders of the future will respond to people and practice a strategy of integrity, authenticity, and making positive change. People are now remembering that success is about what we can experience with money – not just dollar signs.

How Can I Take Advantage of the New Opportunities?

Entrepreneur Greg Habstritt puts it this way “Creating Wealth is simple, but its not easy’

Many people fail because they seek the easy way to wealth not realizing that this type of thinking repels wealth.

Rather most success principles are simple,  although so many people  fail because they think they can speed it up by complicating the issue. Complicated doesn’t work.

To be successful simplify the steps down to the most basic and implement that strategy in your business, family and community.

Identify your core competencies and what are your unique and  most saleable assets. Ask how can you most effectively utilize your strengths? What am I good at that I love? Why do it if it is not fun? You need to find what you enjoy and can do well – not one or the other. In other words, tie your goals to your passions.

Financial freedom is not a goal. Ask a person what financial freedom is and they can never tell you. It is  a continuously moving target.

80% of people do not know what they want and why they want it. You must be able to clearly see and touch your goal. Can you describe it in tactile terms that empower you core values.

Emulate  a Role Model and Execute Your Plan

Find someone who does what you want to do in a way that is consistent with your values. Learn what they do and why they do it.

 Working backwards from your goal and develop measurable steps taking you to your goal.

The strategy must be in harmony with your goal and passion and gives back to the world. Live a passion that transcends money and it will come to you because you will work hard at what you do.

If you passionately focus on giving value to your customers, you will be able to succeed because you are thriving in an atmosphere of happiness and contentment.