“I falter before the task of finding the language which might adequately express the incalculable paradoxes of love” wrote Carl Jung “I have again and again faced the mystery of love, and have never been able to explain what it is.”
Knowing what love is seems almost impossible. Is love a biological trick? A divine gift? Or somewhere in between?
We are fascinated by the union of opposite natures – of masculine and feminine.
In the Bible – both Jewish and Christian – the word “to know” describes sex (Gn 4:1; 19:8; Mt 1:25). However, this knowledge is far from a casual acquaintance – a one night stand, or a passing glimpse of a womans body.
The mystical traditions describe a divine knowledge and the mystery of union, what Jung called the mysterium coniunctionis, involves “a spiritual meaning latent in the secret of creation as a whole1”
In Jewish mysticism ten divine qualities or sephirot are described as part of the kabbalistic Tree of Life. Like a crown, the highest intellectual quality, keter, sits above and apart, between the unexplainable infinity of the divine. It sits in the archetypical world of Atziluth, but forms part of supernal triangle with chochmah, wisdom, and binah, understanding, both part of the creative world or Briah.
Seen only in rare spiritually refined moments, In the 13th century, the rare external glimpses of keter, as a complementary Sephirah called Da`at, or knowledge.
It is shown in the middle, harmonising the left and right sides of the tree of life – one side called the Pillar of Severity and the other the Pillar of Mercy. In the middle line, or Pillar of Equilibrium or Consciousness, graphically it is portrayed “Da`at occupies the middle position between the two parts of the brain. Being in the middle, it unites the opposites and bridges the paradox. Together, Hokhmah, Binah, and Da`at make up the mental base underlying all creative expression.2”
“Knowledge, then, is equivalent to the complete union of opposites. The only way for man and woman to love each other, not only physically but also spiritually, is to remove all the barriers that separate them. In essence, a man and a woman in love can reach closeness as no two other human beings can.”
Jung argued that while sex is often only see in terms of lust and pleasure, it has greater unconscious archetypal – a spiritual – significance often forgotten in the heat of passion. What Jung called a relationship of anima to animus. Symbolizing the “union of the feminine and masculine principles and, as a mystical, numinous experience, must also be approached in symbolic terms.” ( Dreifuss)
Psychology points out that the processes of creativity and individuation can be experienced in sexual terms. The union of opposite principles ‘gives birth’ to a new experience much as the joys of love can create new life.
The integration of the fragmented unconscious found in Freud and Jung are implied in the ideas of the kabbalist Isaac Luria, called the Ari, whose words were recorded by his student Chayyim Vital ( 1542-1620). Luria described man’s divinely appointed task to help restore the divine sparks from broken vessels of a shattered cosmos .
Fascinated by kabbalah in later life, Jung claimed “a full understanding of the Jewish origins of psychoanalysis would carry us beyond Jewish Orthodoxy into the subterranean workings of Hasidism and then into the intricacies of the Kabbalah which still remain unexplored psychologically.3“
Perhaps this integration of parts is the meaning of Adam and Eves being ‘one flesh’, made whole, being completed in a soul mate. In Chassidic circles it is taught soulmates were one soul in the heavenly realm, and they are to discover each other, and through the trials of life, become renewed and stronger in love and appreciation.
That which is concealed is loved more once discovered.
The mystery of love was not lost on ancient mystics – especially the erotic Song of Songs. Jewish thought applied it as a metaphor for God and the Jewish nation, later Christian mystics as a metaphor for Christ and the Church and Islamic writers such as Rumi describe loving Allah in poetic romantic terms.
Rather than just describing each other in beautiful poetry, the lovers outpouring of metaphors “denote the symbolic level of the relationship, pointing to a reality beyond the partners’ conscious relationship that hints at the divine, at another realm and an unspeakable mystery” claimed Gustav Dreifus.
“ The mystery of love is a fascinating secret, an impenetrable enigma that no psychological interpretation can possibly “explain.””
In his psychological analysis, Dreifus points out that “Shulammite and Shlomoh, derive from the Hebrew root sh-l-m that denotes both peace and wholeness. The dual nature of their names, simultaneously private and transpersonal, turns them into a quintessential embodiment of the man-woman relationship. The Shulammite enchants Shlomoh, who describes her beauty in strikingly rich and poetic terms through metaphors borrowed from nature that allude to earthlinked, symbolic, and archetypal aspects.”
Here, Dreifus draws on Lurias kabbalistic understanding, linking the mystical love of song of Songs with what seems like incestuous incidents in Genesis, and even perhaps references to Egyptian poetry.
In the Ari’s kabbalistc model, divine revelation is divided into five Partsufim. Keter is called Arikh Anpin, “the Long Suffering,” representing pure mercy and divine love4 and is described as a Grandfather. Th next level, Cochmah and Binah are described as Abba and Ima, or mother and father respectively. The thirs lvel, the offspring, are brother and sister, the son Ze`ir Anpin, or Hesed Din Tifereth with the sephoroth Netsah Hod Yesod and daughter Nukvah or the tenth sephirot Malkhut She is both the daughter and the son’s consort.
It is the psychology, and not technical kabbalistic jargon, that I want to highlight. In describing these ‘great archetype images’ here Dreifus calls on the great Kabbalist Aryan Kaplan.
Kaplan observes that in the classic kabbalistic texts the Ets Hayyim or the Idrot, the relationship between Abba and Ima (father and mother) and Ze`ir Anpin and Nukva (son and daughter are described as Zivug, or sexual union or attachment.
“As the Ari describes it, there is an entire process by which Ze`ir Anpin is born. It starts with a Kiss between Abba and Ima, which then develops into a Zivug. We understand of course that these relationships have a very deep symbolic meaning. The Song of Songs, for instance, begins with the verse “Let him kiss me with the kisses of His lips’.”
Just as the kisses of foreplay may lead to sexual union and pregnancy’5, Kaplan explains that “To the Kabbalists, a kiss symbolizes the meeting of minds, whereas a zivug represents the melting of bodies, of total essence.”
Dreifus explains: “.The kiss is a meeting of lips, mouths, and tongues, alluding to the meeting of heads, minds, and souls. The melting of the bodies represents the total essence, namely, mystical oneness in the orgasm. The numinosity of the experience is explained by the analogy between the human and the divine copulation (between Ze`ir Anpin and Nukva).”
He then again quotes Kaplan “Abba and Ima come together and Ima becomes pregnant with Ze`ir Anpin; she carries him, gives birth to him and nurses him. She then becomes pregnant a second time, the second pregnancy being not a physical but rather a mental pregnancy which develops Ze`ir Anpin’s Mochin, his personality, and Nukva de Ze`ir Anpin, who is his sister.6”
Of course, in Jewish law brother sister unions are forbidden. These unions are described as occurring in the realm of Atzilut and according to Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch, called the Tsemah Tsedek ( 1789–1866), these unions are too holy for human beings to dare.
“Atsilut is one aspect of the collective unconscious. At its deepest level, the Song of Songs portrays incest between brother and sister. Incest is prohibited between human beings because of anthropological and psychological reasons. Symbolically, however, incest represents the union of opposites. It is a feeling of joy. It is a numinous experience conveying the feeling of being on the road to individuation” writes Dreyfus.
“This explains the incestuous relationship between the patriarch Abraham and the matriarch Sarah, who were actually half-brother and sister, whereas for Isaac, calling his wife Rebecca his “sister” is a deeply symbolical figure of speech.”
Perhaps, in our highly sexualised Western world we have forgotten the deeper symbolic yearnings inherent in love and passion.:
Still, the ritual of Luria’s kabbalists is a far cry from the therapeutic use of kabbalistic archetpes today. How can these metaphors help in real love?
Therapist Sanford Drob, explains “ the Lurianic symbols of Shevirat ha-Kelim, the “breaking of the vessels” and Tikkun (emendation, restoration) suggests that all vessels, all containers, all world-views and ideas, including the Lurianic Kabbalah itself, are continually subject to deconstruction and emendation.”
In kabbalah a “portion of the world was left uncreated by God, a portion of the self remains uncreated in each individual. ….. The most important sense of the unconscious is not that part of one’s past that has been stored away in an archive, but rather that part of one’s potential which has never been realized or, perhaps, even recognized. “
This psychotherapeutic process heals the soul through the realization of his/her personal potential, but also, the client’s relationships to others and the environment he says.
In terms of a love relationship, kabbalah and the Bible commends a soulmate-couple to ‘become one flesh’. Clearly this means more than sexual union – going to a prostitute does not make ‘one flesh.’
Chassidic philosopher, Rabbi Manis Freedman takes the questioning even further: Kabbalistically a soulmate was already one in heaven – so they cannot become one flesh – they already are one.
Being of one mind is not enough – close friends can be of one mind but not soul mates.
The Bible describes the whole nation of Israel being of one heart at mount Sinai – but they weren’t one flesh.
However, Freedman argues that when that united soul, unify in shared mind, heart and soul experiences shared in love they have a shared fleshly experience. The experience recreates their love on a higher level.
You become one flesh by taking your soul mate seriously. When done in love, taking your soulmates ego seriously is a giant step, says Freedman.
Chassidus teaches the idea of both an animal and Godly soul, and when we know our animal needs we can turn it to good.
When you know your own ego needs but can consciously ignore them so you can consciously gratify another’s needs then you can become one flesh.
When you are thinking about your own needs alone you take up space. In other words, you exist. When you contribute – and stop worrying about your existence – you and your love becomes alive.
Image: Loving you by *Marori
loving You by ~lovelybutterfly
1Gustav Dreifuss, The Union of Opposites in the Kabbalah, JOURNAL OF JUNGIAN THEORY AND PRACTICE VOL. 7 NO. 1 2005.
2Ibid.
3Jung, C.G. Letters, ed. by Gerhard Adler, Aniella Jaffe, and R.F.S. Hull. Princeton, N.J.: Princeton University Press. Vol. II, p.157 358-9.
4In the Zohar it is called Attika Kadisha, the Holy Ancient One. Arikh Anpin is from the Aramaic root Anaf and the Hebrew root Af, meaning anger and means slow to anger.
5Dreifus, ibid
6Kaplan, A. (1990). Innerspace: Introduction to Kabbalah, meditation and prophecy (A. Sutton,
Ed.). New York: Moznaim, p 105.
