“What counts as cheating?” asks dating site eharmony.

The answers given were almost heartlessly pragmatic. Have we reduced love to taking what we can get without hurting our lover? Have we forgotten intimacy?

eHarmony asks pragmatically:

1. Even if you’re not sure you’re cheating, would your partner say you are?

2. Are you secretive about seemingly harmless things?

3. Are you anticipating the next step?

4. Would you be uncomfortable if your partner acted the way you do?

5. What’s the intent behind the interaction

“The cliché “cheaters never prosper” applies more to relationships than any other context” state eharmony.

But can you truly be intimate if your relationship is measured by what you can get away with and not hurt his feelings?

Intimacy is for many a glorious accident. …She is beautiful, I feel excited in the reflected glow of her attentions. He makes me feel special and alive….

Rather, our reaction is dependent on our on how we respond to our own inner world.

Good lovers are sensitive to their own feelings. They have learned to develop and intimacy with their spirit that is often ignored by life’s pleasure seeking culture of distraction.

When you learn to take charge of our own intimacy, you begin to sense how everyone else is interconnected to yourself, your gestures, your smile.

From the delicious flavours of love you develop a compassionate nurturing energy of commitment, trustworthiness, and vulnerability that spreads to others.

The intimacy and mutual trust of a truly committed couple induces a rare sense of confidence, certainty and satisfaction in life.

True intimacy buds a strength that does not need validation outside of the relationship. Any external, objective input, is not sought to validate ourselves by gossiping and manipulating others.

Accessing our inner voice dissolves habitual need for women to find comfort in connection, men run for their cave.

Rather, the differences in sexual energy draw us to a spiritual oneness that makes greater personal and sexual intimacy possible.

By learning to empathetically listen to our inner voice we elevate mundane experience to an opportunity of spiritual unity.

We sense the truth found in the Vedic poem

As is the individual, so is the universe.
As is the human body, so is the cosmic body.
As is the human mind, is the cosmic mind.
As is the microcosm, so is the macrocosm.

This emotional terrain can be scary unknown territory, and like a relationship, it is a journey that can deepen into glorious beauty.

By being truly present, intimacy is nurtured and a soul level connection harmoniously balances the yin yang energies within each of us.

“The sexual practices used in Taoist, Tantric, Arabian and Japanese traditions both prolong sexual pleasure and raise it ecstasy” states Sacred Sexuality Empowering Men.

Mutual and equal sexual satisfaction grows as the man develops ejaculation control and learns the  importance of satisfying his lover.

Like artist Taoists sex avoids thoughtless repetition and enhances the spark of attraction and builds the electricity between lovers. Erotic kissing, and an almost meditative relaxed breathing enhances the flow of yin-yang energy building to a soul level intimacy and pleasure.

Able to listen to our inner voice, our enhanced sensitivity teaches us listen emphatically.

Emphatic listening uses your intuition and feelings. With new found inner strength you can afford to vulnerable without fear. You are able to feel others, to know how they are feeling without fearing being overwhelmed.

Most people listen either assumptively, waiting to hear something they can grab hold of to make their point, or sympathetically, like a ravine that takes it all in but is too deep to be able to give back.

Empathically, slow your reply your intuition guides us to ask further questions that encourages our companion share feelings and experiences, day dreams, hopes and fears.

The goal of Taoist lovemaking is to share the power of the male and female, yin and yang, energy centers. To be truly intimate you must live in the present, be intune with your spirit and cultivate a soul level connection with your lover.

We share that intimate divinity at the moment that we reach out by reaching within and the have the courage and vulerabitt to touchanother.